Drunken Cookie Monster

This is not only one of the tastiest mixed drinks around, but also the cutest!

Ingredients:

1 oz cake vodka
1 oz vanilla vodka
1 oz white chocolate liqueur

2 cup vanilla ice cream
7 chocolate creme cookies, divided

Colored frosting

Chocolate chips

Directions:

Blend vodkas and liqueur (or syrup), ice cream and 5 of the chocolate creme cookies in a blender until smooth. Pour into two daiquiri glasses. Top with frosting until it reaches the top of the glass. Stick the last two cookies at an angle on the tops of the frosting to make mouths. Add chocolate chips for eyes. Serve.

Cinnamon Roll Cake

This is a taste treat that works every time! Take cinnamon buns to a whole new level!

Ingredients:

Cake:
3 c. flour
1/4 tsp.salt
1 c. sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 c. milk
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. butter, melted

Topping:
1 c. butter, softened
1 c. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. flour
1 Tbsp. cinnamon

Glaze:
2 c. powdered sugar
5 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Mix everything together except for the butter. Slowly stir in the melted butter and pour into a greased 9x13 pan. For the topping, mix all the ingredients together until well combined. Drop evenly over the batter and swirl with a knife. Bake at 350 for 28-32 minutes. While cake is still warm, warm drizzle the glaze over the cake.

Wake Up

A man and his wife had an argument and, afterwards, were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Test of Three

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat a rumor...

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's correct," Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

Peanut Butter Cup Pie

This is absolutely incredible and so very easy to make! Peanut butter cups have never tasted so good!

Ingredients:

1 chocolate cookie pie crust
1 large box of instant chocolate pudding
1 1/2 cups of milk
1 8oz tub of whipped topping
Peanut butter cups

Directions:

1.  In a large bowl, mix the pudding with the milk.

2.  Whisk in the whipped topping.
3.  Unwrap the peanut butter cups (about 15 of the large ones or 25 of the minis) and chop them roughly.
4.  Fold the chopped candy into the pudding mix.
5.  Pour mixture into the chocolate pie crust.
6.  Top with a few more chopped peanut butter cups
7.  Store in freezer till about 15 minutes before serving.

Shark Attack

This is the ideal drink on this hot Labor Day weekend, plus it's so incredible easy to make!

Ingredients:
2 cups ice cubes
1/4 cup lemon slices
1/4 cup pineapple chunks
1/4 cup tequila
1/4 cup Triple Sec
1/2 cup orange juice
1/4 cup pineapple juice
1/4 cup rum
Splash grenadine
1/4 cup maraschino cherries, plus more for garnish

Directions:

In a pitcher, add all the ingredients and stir to combine. Garnish with maraschino cherries, if using. Pour into rocks glasses, garnish with maraschino cherries and serve

No One Available

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light and saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No." Then they said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be there when one is available."

George said, "Okay" He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and hung up.

Within five minutes, six police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was no one available!"