Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed.
People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, or anyone that wanted to try. But no one could squeeze anymore juice out of the lemons.
Then one day a little nerdy looking guy walks in and everyone laughs at him when they hear he is there to try to squeeze a lemon. So the bartender squeezes a lemon into a cup and hands him what is left over. Then the guy squeezes out 6 more drops of juice, and everyone is amazed!
"What do you do for a living?" they asked, "Are you a weight lifter, a body builder?"
"No", he replied. "I'm an auditor with the IRS."
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him, "I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV."
"Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed... there ain’t nobody under it now!"
