The Gong Clock

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously? asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear- shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "HEY YOU JERK!!! IT'S THREE-THIRTY IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!!

Name That Christmas Carol

Clues: 1. Bleached Yule 2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration 3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors 4. Righteous Darkness 5. Arrival Time2400 hrs - WeatherCloudless 6. Loyal Followers Advance 7. Far Off in a Feeder 8. Array the Corridor 9. Bantam Male Percussionist 10. Monarchial Triad 11. Nocturnal Noiselessness 12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers 13. Red Man En Route to Borough 14. Frozen Precipitation Commence 15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle 16. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis 17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant 18. Delight for this Planet 19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings 20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals

Answers: 1. White Christmas 2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth 4. O Holy Night 5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 6. O Come, All Ye Faithful 7. Away in a Manger 8. Deck the Hall 9. Little Drummer Boy 10. We Three Kings 11. Silent Night 12. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen 13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town 14. Let it Snow 15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain 16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer 17. What Child is This? 18. Joy to the World 19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 20. The Twelve Days of Christmas

The Hanukah Song

"Okay...
This is a song that uhh..
There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh..
not too many Chanukah songs.
So uhh..
I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear
any Chanukah songs.
Here we go..."

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew

You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both Jewish

Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
All three Stooges
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is

Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
Happy Chanukah!"

The Music

When you're happy, you enjoy the music. But when you're sad, you understand the lyrics... ~ Frank Ocean

Jimmy Page

"I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I am doing." ~ Jimmy Page

I love this quote by a man who usually says so little. His simple words, in and by themselves, speak volumes...

Music Is

Music is exactly what feelings sound like! It helps us give a voice to how we feel...

Song Lyrics

If you can't handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said, we can't be friends.

Dear Music

Dear music, I will never be able to thank you for always being there for me.

I Miss Kansas

"Oh, I really do miss Kansas, Toto... and Loverboy, Survivor, Rush, Styx, Journey, Foreigner, but I miss Pink Floyd most of all"... is she crazy? I miss Led Zeppelin most of all! Robert Plant has always been, and always will be, my all-time rocker fave! The Rolling Stones and The Who still tour and, thankfully, so does Def Leppard! That fact makes this mama one happy rocker chick! ; )

The Moment

The moment when one of your favorite songs comes on and in your mind you can still do all the dance moves.

"I Am The Next Nelson Mandela"

Kanye West is under fire for claiming that he will soon be a bigger cultural and civil rights icon than Nelson Mandela.

In an interview with WGCI radio in Chicago, the notoriously self-promoting rapper said that the 95-year-old South African leader's recent death will finally allow people to focus more of their attention on West’s own accomplishments.

In the studio to promote his new music video Bound 2, the conversation soon turned to the day’s biggest news out of South Africa. West was asked who he thought on the world stage today could possibly replace Nelson Mandela in terms of leadership, and his unconventional answer left heads spinning.

“I am the next Nelson Mandela,” West responded. “I’m only 36 years old, and when I look at everything I’ve accomplished, it’s the only comparison that makes any sense. By the time I’m 95, I’m going to be a bigger hero than he ever was.

“Nelson Mandela did a lot of good work, don’t get me wrong. But I think I’m on track to do something even bigger. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.
“Not to say Mandela wasn’t for real. I have mad respect. I just think we need to keep things in perspective here. Anyone can be replaced. And I think I’m well on my way towards being the next great black leader. I’m already worshiped around the world. And there’s more to come.”

Former South African president and anti-apartheid leader Nelson Mandela died recently after years of declining health. His legacy of peaceful reconciliation has been universally praised by political leaders, the media and ordinary citizens around the world.


Kanye West, for his part, is known for going to extraordinary lengths to focus attention on himself. His reaction today was so unusual, however, that host Adrian Cronauer decided to challenge his assertions.

“What have you actually done for civil rights?” he asked. “Have you been involved in any campaigns? Any political activities? It seems to me comparing yourself to Mandela is a bit of a stretch.”

“I’ve blazed a trail with my career,” West responded. “I faced immeasurable racism when I entered this profession. I mean how many black rappers can you name that came before me? I was a pioneer. And now I’m doing the same thing in the fashion world.

“Not to mention I have a bigger market than he ever did. Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. Worldwide baby.”

“I just want everyone out there to know. I see y’all crying on the TV. Being all sad. Just know that Kanye’s gonna carry on Mandela’s legacy. There’s nothing to worry about. I got this.”

Gimme The Beat, Boys

This is EXACTLY how I feel when my favorite song comes on the radio! "Oh, gimme the beat, boys, to free my soul, 'cause I wanna get lost in your rock and roll, and drift away... "

Something In The Way She Moos...

Something in the way she moos... attracts me like no udder lover... cheesy, but. I actually giggled when I saw this... ; )

The Twerk

Screw, Miley Cyrus. Butthead invented the twerk in '95. Sorry, Miley, but you're 20 years too late to be considered an "originator"! ;-P

A Justin Beiber Fan Discovers Led Zeppelin

Every time you share this pic of Robert Plant, a Justin Beiber fan will discover a real rocker man and a fabulous band, my all-time favorite, Led Zeppelin! ; )

"Oh, I really do miss Kansas, Toto... and Loverboy, Survivor, Rush, Styx, Journey, Foreigner, but I miss Pink Floyd most of all"... is she crazy? I miss Led Zeppelin most of all! Robert Plant has always been, and always will be, my all-time rocker fave! The Rolling Stones and The Who still tour and, thankfully, so does Def Leppard! That fact makes this mama one happy rocker chick! ; )

Every Girl's Crazy O'er A Sharp-Dressed Man

Lovin' me some ZZ Top... " Clean shirt, new shoes and I don't know where I am goin' to. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, 'cos every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. Gold watch, diamond ring, I ain't missin' not a single thing. Cufflinks, stick pin, when I step out I'm gonna do you in. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, 'coz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. Top coat, top hat, and I don't worry coz my wallet's fat. Black shades, white gloves, lookin' sharp lookin' for love. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, 'coz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." ; )