Lucky

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog, Lucky. Lucky was a real character and whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit, they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably someone would forget and something would come up missing. Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. A double mastectomy was scheduled and Mary waited for the surgery date with fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her... what would happen to Lucky? Although the three year old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. "If I die Lucky will be abandoned," Mary thought. "He won't understand that I didn't want to leave him." The thought of that made her sadder than her own possible demise.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the dog just drooped, whining and miserable. Finally, the day came for Mary to leave the hospital and when she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap.

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called. It made Mary sad, but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed. When Mary woke for a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. Panic soon gave way to laughter though when Mary realized the problem.... she was covered, literally blanketed, in every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement and back bringing his beloved mistress his favorite things in life. He had smothered her with his love. At that moment, Mary decided to forget about dying and, instead, she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every night.

It has been 12 years now and Mary remains cancer-free. And Lucky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box, but Mary will always be his greatest treasure.

Looking For Sex

When I went to City Hall to renew my dog’s license I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one too!” Then I said, “But this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He winked at me and said, “You must have been quite a kid.”

When I got married and went on my honeymoon I took my dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and myself, and a special room for Sex. He said, “You don’t need a special room for Sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don’t care what you do.” I said, “Look, you don’t seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Funny, I have the same problem.”

Well, one day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began the dog got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He said, “Wonderful! If you sell tickets you’ll clean up!” “But you don’t understand”, I said. “I want to have Sex on TV.” He said, “They already have that on Cable. It’s no big deal any more.”

Well my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said to the judge, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The Judge said, “The courtroom is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts.” Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”

Well last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over for him. A cop came over to me and asked, What are you doing in this alley at four o’clock in the morning?” I said, “I’m looking for Sex.”

My case comes up soon.

How To Wash A Cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate. You may need to stand on the lid and give the cat time to make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people or animals between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

I Am Your Dog

I am your dog, and I have a little something I’d like to whisper in your ear. I know that humans lead very busy lives. Some have to work, some have children to raise. It always seems like you are running here and there, often much too fast, often never noticing the truly grand things in life. Look down at me now, while you sit there at your computer. See the way my dark brown eyes look at yours. They are slightly cloudy now. That comes with age. The gray hairs are beginning to ring my soft muzzle.

You smile at me. I see love in your eyes. What do you see in mine? Do you see a spirit? A soul inside, who loves you as no other could in the world? A spirit that would forgive all trespasses of prior wrong doing for just a simple moment of your time? That is all I ask … to slow down, if even for just a few minutes to be with me. So many times you have been saddened by the words you read on that screen, of other of my kind passing. Sometimes we die young and, oh so quickly, sometimes so suddenly it wrenches your heart right out of your chest. Sometimes, we age so slowly before your eyes that you may not even seem to know until the very end, when we look at you with grizzled muzzles and cataract-clouded eyes. Still, the love is always there, even when we must take that long sleep to run free in a distant land.

I may not be here tomorrow. I may not be here next week. Someday you will shed the water from your eyes that humans have when deep grief fills their hearts, and you will be angry with yourself that you did not have just “one more day” with me. Because I love you so, your sorrow touches my spirit and grieves me. We have NOW together. Come, sit down here next to me on the floor and look deep into my eyes. What do you see? If you look hard and deep enough we will talk, you and I, heart to heart. Come to me as “alpha” or as “trainer” or even “Mom” or “Dad,” come to me as a living soul and stroke my fur and let us look deep into one another’s eyes and talk.

I may tell you something about the fun of chasing a tennis ball, or I may tell you something profound about myself, or even life in general. You decided to have me in your life because you wanted a soul to share such things with. Someone very different from you, and here I am. I am a dog, but I am alive. I feel emotion, I feel physical senses, and I can revel in the differences of our spirits and souls. I do not think of you as a “dog on two feet.” I know what you are. You are human, in all your quirkiness, and I love you still.

Now, come sit with me, on the floor. Enter my world, and let time slow down, if only for 15 minutes. Look deep into my eyes and whisper to my ears. Speak with your heart, with your joy and I will know your true self. We may not have tomorrow, and life is oh, so very short.

Puppies For Sale

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups, and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.

As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've
got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed
something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid. Then in a awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The Difference Between Cats And Dogs

There are a distinct differences between a cat and a dog...

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god.

What is a cat?

Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
They whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They're moody.
They leave hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost you money.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats

A dog thinks: Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

What is a dog?

What is a dog? Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
They growl when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They are great at begging.
They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
They never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats.

Why The World Is In Chaos

"People were created to be loved, things were created to be used; the reason why the world is in chaos right now is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

 ~ Unknown

Jesus Is Watching You

A burglar broke into a home one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a strange voice echoing from the dark, “Jesus is watching you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. After awhile when he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice and finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

“Did you say that?” he whispered to the parrot.

“Yep,” the parrot squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? And what is your name?”

“Moses,” replied the bird.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed.

“What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“The same kind who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”

"Talking Dog For Sale"

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down shanty: "Talking Dog For Sale" He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into an equally broken-down backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the dog replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals." "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's such a liar! He never did any of that crap."

How To Give A Cat A Pill

Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.

With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.

Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.

Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.

Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).

Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.

Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.

Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap It In Bacon
2. Toss It In The Air!

Joe Dimaggio

A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed."

The man says, "But this is a special dog - he talks!"

"Yeah, right," says the bartender. "Now get out of here before I throw you out."

"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it." He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"

"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.

"Listen, pal..." says the bartender.

"Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question." He turns to the dog again and asks, "What's the opposite of soft?"

"Ruff!" exclaims the dog.

"Quit wasting my time and get out of here," says the bartender.

"One more chance," pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"

"Ruth!" barked the dog.

"Okay, that's it!" says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.

Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, "Maybe I should have said Joe Dimaggio?"

SBF Seeks Male Companionship

SBF (single black female) seeks male companionship. Age and ethnicity unimportant. Loves long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Rub me the right way and I will respond with tender caresses. I am a svelte, good looking female who loves to have fun. Call 555-5555 and ask for Daisy.

(The phone number was the Humane Society and Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador Retriever. They received 643 calls in two days.)

The Resurrection

A woman with a broken ankle was gingerly hobbling along on crutches as she attempted to walk her dog. Because of her disability, however, she was having a lot of trouble keeping the dog under control. Finally, the dog lunged forward, the leash slipped out of her hand, and the dog went running down the street. She called and called, but the dog wouldn't come back. Since she couldn't chase after it, she eventually gave up and went home.

A couple of hours later she heard something scratching at the door. When she went to the door she found her dog standing there with a dead rabbit in its mouth. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit. She knew she would never be able to tell them what happened, and since they were out of town for the weekend, she hit upon a plan.

She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit back to the neighbors' backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage. They would never suspect what really happened.

On Monday, there was a knock at the door, and when she answered, there was her neighbor standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said, "Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said, "Well, something really strange is going on in my backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend, it was back in the cage!"

The Seeing Eye Dog

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in 30 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this...

All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, they also were trying to change airlines!

How's Fido Doing?

A young boy goes off to college, but about a third of the way through the semester he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his father, who is well-known for his gullibility, "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this... they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read, so he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a bitch!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy."

Excerpts From A Diary

The following are the inner thoughts of a dog's mind versus a cat's mind as recorded through their diary excerpts...

Excerpt From The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpt From The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously slow-witted. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Craig's List: Free To Good Home.

My girlfriend doesn't like my dog, so I appeal to you.

She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years. She likes to play games. Not totally trained. Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done. Stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work. Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!

So... anyone interested in my 30 year old, selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend? Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed!!

Sometimes They Come With Tails

For about five months, Alexis Khan worked as a babysitter for the Jordan family in North Carolina. Unbeknownst to the Jordans, Alexis began physically and verbally abusing their son, Finn, starting from when he was only 2 months old. This horrendous abuse might have continued if not for the Jordans' loyal family dog, Killian.

The characteristically sweet-tempered Killian began to act aggressively towards Khan whenever she approached the child - and the parents quickly took notice. The extent of the abuse was only uncovered after the Jordans placed an audio recorder in the home that documented Khan cursing at and hitting the baby. Khan was arrested for child abuse shortly thereafter.

Today, Alexis Khan is in jail, and Finn Jordan is a healthy, happy little boy. If it hadn't been for the family's protective and loving dog, Killian, this story might have ended quite differently. Killian is not through being a hero. He is currently training to be a psychiatric service animal.

It's good to remember that there really are some truly wonderful beings on this planet - and sometimes they come with tails.

Dog Friendly

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

10 Canine Commandments

I love these commandments, as we often forget that canines possess feelings, too...

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful to me. Remember that before you buy me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me. It’s crucial to my well-being.

4. Dont be angry with me for long, and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I only have you.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it’s speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I’ll never forget it.

7. Remember before you hit me: I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being un-cooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, or I’ve been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.

9. Take care of me when I get old. You too will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say: “I can’t bear to watch it”, or “Let it happen in my absence.”

Everything is easier for me if you are there.

Most importantly, please remember that I LOVE YOU.