Dear Cutie-Pie

Dr. Kelly Flanigan is a therapist who has seen women who need a good man in their lives, time and time again. He wanted to write a letter to not only his little girl, but to every woman out there. It's a fantastic reminder of what a man needs to be to his wife.

"Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego - that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table - as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me - as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet - as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don't care if he is strong --as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn't care less how he votes - as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don't care about the color of his skin - as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion - as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy"

The Haircut

A young boy had just got his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied... "Yes, and they all WALKED everywhere they went!"

A Trip To The Country

What exactly does it mean to be POOR?

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

A Father's Test

He went into his son’s room and placed on the study table four objects:

1.  Bible,
2.  Ten dollar bill
3.  Bottle of whisky
4.  Playboy magazine

"I’ll just hide behind the door," the preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up. If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard,and, Lord, what a shame that would be! But, worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he’s gonna be a skirt-chasin’ bum."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house whistling as he headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

He picked up the money and dropped it into his pocket.

He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month’s centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "He’s gonna run for Congress!"

The Cherry Tree

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked him why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

The boy answered that, yes, it was. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

His dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree!"

The Prayer

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9, or 12 and asks which one the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I need the condoms because I think that tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then afterward, we're going to the movies. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get "lucky" after that."

He leans in and winks at the pharmacist and says, "Once she's had me, she'll want it all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He gives the prayer, but then continues quietly praying to himself for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Tea For Daddy

A toddler was giving her Daddy a tea party, she was happily bringing cups of water for her Daddy.

After several cups, her Mommy came home. Daddy made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him the cup of tea, because it was,"Just the cutest thing!"

Mommy waited and sure enough, she came down the hall with a cup of water for Daddy. She watched him drink it up in horror and says.."You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

A Man's Logic

A couple decide to divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main custodian of their child.

The judge tells both the man and woman that he would like a reason why either one of them should be the person to have primary custody of the child.

The judge asks the woman first. She tells him, "Well, I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and then I had to go through a painful birth process to bring him into this world. This is my child, as he is a part of me."

The judge is impressed and then turns to the man and asks him the same question.

The man replies, "Alright, your honor, using her logic... if I take a coin and put it in a soda vending machine and a soda comes out... please tell me, who does the drink belong to - me or the machine?"

What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep doo-doo."

Dear Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

How's Fido Doing?

A young boy goes off to college, but about a third of the way through the semester he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his father, who is well-known for his gullibility, "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this... they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read, so he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a bitch!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy."

The Lucky Day

The bride kissed her father, as she placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was curious as to what had been given to the father, by the bride, and the father could feel the suspense in the air.

All eyes were on him to declare the secret and say something. So, he cleared his throat and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life..."

Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter has finally... finally... returned my credit card to me."

Everyone, including the priest, burst into laughter... well, almost everyone... the groom didn't appear to be amused by this, at all.

God Will Provide

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a religious scholar," he replies.

"A religious scholar... hmm..." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies. "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."

The Tomato Garden

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

"Dear Vincenzo,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me.

Love, Papa"

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

"Dear Papa,

I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

Love, Vinnie"

At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

The same day the old man received another letter from his son:

"Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Vinnie"

The Magic Kingdom

A little girl wanted to go to Disneyland to meet Snow White, for she believed Snow White could help her to make her greatest dream come true.

Her Dream was to see her Daddy come home from Afghanistan, where he was completing his tour in the US Marine Corps.

So her mother took her to Disneyland and she met Snow White, who took her by her hand to the Wishing Well. Snow White then instructed her to close her eyes and make her wish, with all her heart... When the little girl opened up her eyes, to her great joy, she found that her Daddy had. indeed, magically appeared!

"Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit." ~ Wilma Rudolph

Always Be Kind

The doctor entered the hospital hurriedly, after being called in for emergency surgery. He changed his clothes quickly and went directly to the surgerical floor.

He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for him.

Upon seeing him, the father cried out, “What took you so long? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said, “I'm sorry, but I wasn’t at the hospital when I received the call. I came as fast as I could and now I wish you’d please calm down, so that I can go to work.”

“Calm down?!" The father exclaimed. "What if it was your son who was in that room right now on the verge of death, would you calm down??”he angrily asked.

The doctor smiled again wearily and replied, “I would say to you what Job said, “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God.” I will do my best for your son, but only by God’s grace.”

“Giving advice, when it's not your loved one involved, is so easy,” murmured the father, as the doctor rushed into surgery.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor came out smiling, “I'm pleased to report that the surgery was a success and your son is in stable condition.” Without waiting for the father’s reply, he then hurried off, calling out as he left, “If you have any questions, please ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait a few minutes so that I could ask about my son’s state?” Commented the father, upon seeing the nurse moments later.

“His son was killed in a car accident and he was at the funeral when the call for your son came through. He was running so that he could go finish burying his own son,” the nurse replied.

Remember, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about... Be kind. Always.

200 Blunt Words For Divorcing Parents

Minnesota Judge Has 200 Blunt Words 

for Divorcing Parents

By Judge Michael Haas

2001

“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party—or what your family thinks of the other party—these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an “idiot” his father is, or what a “fool” his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”

My Father, My Teacher

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out on the water, the boy suddenly became curious about things in general and started asking all sorts of questions. He asked his father, "Why does the boat float?

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son."

A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know son."

Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, if you don't ask questions, you'll never learn nothin'."

Bad Advice

Jane came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" he asked.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

Dear Little One

Dr. Kelly Flanagan, a licensed clinical psychologist and happy father of three, maintains a wonderful blog, in which he gives his well thought-out opinions and fabulous personal advice. He has made a habit out of writing letters to his young daughter, to help teach her about the world, but not only his daughter could benefit from reading his wise words.

Check out what he had to say about the make-up and fashion industry. These are great words to live by...

Dear Little One,

As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant.

And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like:

*  Affordably gorgeous,
*  Infallible,
*  Flawless finish,
*  Brilliant strength,
*  Liquid power,
*  Go nude,
*  Age defying,
*  Instant age rewind,
*  Choose your dream,
*  Nearly naked, and
*  Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.

Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy

Source: Dr. Kelly Flanagan