Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously? asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear- shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "HEY YOU JERK!!! IT'S THREE-THIRTY IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!!
The doctor entered the hospital hurriedly, after being called in for emergency surgery. He changed his clothes quickly and went directly to the surgerical floor.
He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for him.
Upon seeing him, the father cried out, “What took you so long? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled and said, “I'm sorry, but I wasn’t at the hospital when I received the call. I came as fast as I could and now I wish you’d please calm down, so that I can go to work.”
“Calm down?!" The father exclaimed. "What if it was your son who was in that room right now on the verge of death, would you calm down??”he angrily asked.
The doctor smiled again wearily and replied, “I would say to you what Job said, “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God.” I will do my best for your son, but only by God’s grace.”
“Giving advice, when it's not your loved one involved, is so easy,” murmured the father, as the doctor rushed into surgery.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor came out smiling, “I'm pleased to report that the surgery was a success and your son is in stable condition.” Without waiting for the father’s reply, he then hurried off, calling out as he left, “If you have any questions, please ask the nurse!!”
“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait a few minutes so that I could ask about my son’s state?” Commented the father, upon seeing the nurse moments later.
“His son was killed in a car accident and he was at the funeral when the call for your son came through. He was running so that he could go finish burying his own son,” the nurse replied.
Remember, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about... Be kind. Always.
If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself though my eyes and see what a piece of crap you are... ;-P
Crying about your broken heart won't help. Be mature about it. Set his house on fire and move on like an adult.
My husband wrecked our family van because of his mistress a few months ago.
He sneakily bought a truck with the tax return but our family of 6 won't fit.
Since he decided that he can't stop his affair with that slut who goes around with anyone, I've decided to sell his beloved truck and get us a normal van.
I don't know much about it. He bought it almost 2 weeks ago and he's the second owner.
It's a 2011 GMC Sierra that has no issue. It's a true pleasure to drive it, even though it doesn't have the whisles and bells of our former van.
Just under 41000 miles.
I'm asking a bit under what he paid for it: $16500. Cash.
If anyone is seriously interested, please email me.
NO SCAM please. No, I will not send it to you or accept a money transfer or check via mail.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
I know you're upset. Why don't you post something passive aggressive in a Facebook status and not explain the situation to anyone? That usually helps.
Let's play a game called, "How many questions can we ask mommy before she loses her cool."
The speed of which a woman says "nothing" when asked "what's wrong" is inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm coming.
I'm surprised "slow Internet connection" doesn't come up more often as a motive in murder trials.
