The Confessional

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a large city's parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like "yes, I see," and "yes, go on," and "I understand."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin thoughtfully with one hand, and repeats all the suggested remarks back to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and shouting, "Holy crap! What happened next?'"

The Cowboy

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shot at the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot at him also.

Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then, one old cowboy raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, "I think my wife got a pretty good look at you."