The Clerk

This is supposedly a true story, it happened in a small town of the province of Quebec, Canada, in October 1996. They showed the video surveillance tape on the news, and even the anchorman, although he tried to contain himself, kept laughing through it...

A robber came into a convenience store wearing a ski mask and a gun wanting to empty the cash register. He took the clerk to the backstore and locked her up in the fridge. Unfortunately, when he came back to the front of the store, a customer had come in. So he took off the ski mask and the gloves, and pretended to be filling in for the clerk. The customer wanted a lottery ticket, so he tried to help her out, by pressing a whole bunch of buttons on the machine (thus leaving fingerprints everywhere), but the machine would not cooperate.

Meanwhile, another customer walked in. Finally, he tells the first customer (after about 5 minutes of close-up shots from the surveillance camera) that the machine is not working and that he won't be able to help her. The robber makes the sale to the second customer, who leaves as well.

The robber then puts back on his gloves to take the money (after touching just about everything in the store without gloves), and hides his face with the palm of his hands as he is leaving. This scene lasts well over 10 minutes, during which, you see and hear the robber as well as in a movie.

The day after, excerpts of the tape were aired and the phones at the police station started ringing off the hook. Apparently, even though no reward had been offered, people thought he was so stupid, he needed to be put in jail just for his own protection!

He turned himself in to the police that same day.

How Much Is That TV?

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes.

So, she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and, again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her, shakes his head, and says,"That's a microwave, not a TV."

Netflix

Netflix, please stop with the recommendations. You don't know me. you don't know what I've been through.

Vitameatavegamin: Spoon Your Way To Health!

"Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Tastes just like candy!" This is my favorite scene from one of my all-time favorite shows! I mean, come on, who didn't love Lucy? ; )