How To Understand Women

Millions of dollars are generated by the relationship advice industry and people are always looking for ways to improve their relationships. Love can be difficult, as it leaves countless people confused. That's why we are always looking for an easy way to understand the opposite sex.

Where does this 12 year-old boy come into it? Well, he cracked the code! He knows the key to understanding women.... this book should be stocked in the 'self-help' section of all bookstores.

Just Stay

The nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

"Your son is here," she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused.. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his
son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.

I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. May I ask what this gentleman's name was?"

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, "Mr. William Grey."

The next time someone needs you... just be there. Just stay.

Mexican Appetizer Cups

This is a great little snack or hors d'oeuvre for your next party, as they are a huge hit every time I serve them!

Ingredients:

1 box (9 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed, squeezed to drain
1 can (10 oz) diced tomatoes with green chiles, undrained
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon taco seasoning mix (from 1-oz package)
40 to 45 nacho cheese-flavored tortilla chips
2 cans (12 oz each) refrigerated buttermilk biscuits (20 biscuits)
1 cup finely shredded Mexican cheese blend (4 oz)

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 375°F. Spray 30 mini muffin cups with no-stick cooking spray. In large bowl, mix spinach, tomatoes, cream cheese, sour cream and taco seasoning mix; set aside.
2. Place about 20 of the tortilla chips in gallon-size resealable food-storage plastic bag; seal bag. Using rolling pin, finely crush to measure 1/2 cup. Stir crushed chips into spinach mixture.
3. Separate 1 can of dough into 10 biscuits; separate each biscuit into 3 layers. Place 1 layer in each of 30 muffin cups; using floured fingers, press dough on bottom and up side of each cup.
4. Fill each cup with about 1 tablespoon spinach mixture. Refrigerate remaining spinach mixture. Sprinkle filling in each cup with about 1 teaspoon cheese. Bake 9 to 14 minutes or until edges of biscuits are golden brown. Cool in pan 5 minutes; remove from pan to cooling rack. Cool 5 minutes longer. Repeat with remaining biscuits, filling and cheese, cooling pans between batches.
.5 To serve, break each of the remaining 20 to 25 tortilla chips into 3 triangular pieces. Insert 1 triangle into each cup. Serve warm.

Baked Alaska Meat Loaf

This is my favorite meatloaf recipe in the world and it's so easy to make!

Ingredients:

1 package McCormick® Brown Gravy Mix
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
2 teaspoons McCormick® Onions, Minced
1/4 teaspoon McCormick® Black Pepper, Ground
1 teaspoon McCormick® Chives
4 servings instant mashed potatoes
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Mix Gravy Mix, ground beef, minced onion and pepper in large bowl.
3. Shape into a loaf, 2 inches high, in shallow baking pan.
4. Stir chives into prepared mashed potatoes.
5. Spread mixture over meat loaf.
6. Bake 55 minutes or until cooked through.
7. Sprinkle with cheese.
8. Bake 2 minutes longer or until cheese melts.
9. Allow to cool and serve.

Just Fred

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

"Fred," he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me... I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Dear Cutie-Pie

Dr. Kelly Flanigan is a therapist who has seen women who need a good man in their lives, time and time again. He wanted to write a letter to not only his little girl, but to every woman out there. It's a fantastic reminder of what a man needs to be to his wife.

"Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego - that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table - as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me - as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet - as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don't care if he is strong --as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn't care less how he votes - as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don't care about the color of his skin - as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion - as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy"

Alabama Slammer

An Alabama Slammer is a cocktail made with amaretto, Southern Comfort, sloe gin, and orange juice. It is served in a Collins glass and is also known as a Southern Slammer.

Ingredients:
1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1/2 oz Southern Comfort peach liqueur
1/2 oz sloe gin
1 splash orange juice
1 splash sweet and sour mix

Directions:
Pour above ingredients into a stainless steel shaker over ice and shake until completely cold. Strain into a glass and serve.