"I Am The Next Nelson Mandela"

Kanye West is under fire for claiming that he will soon be a bigger cultural and civil rights icon than Nelson Mandela.

In an interview with WGCI radio in Chicago, the notoriously self-promoting rapper said that the 95-year-old South African leader's recent death will finally allow people to focus more of their attention on West’s own accomplishments.

In the studio to promote his new music video Bound 2, the conversation soon turned to the day’s biggest news out of South Africa. West was asked who he thought on the world stage today could possibly replace Nelson Mandela in terms of leadership, and his unconventional answer left heads spinning.

“I am the next Nelson Mandela,” West responded. “I’m only 36 years old, and when I look at everything I’ve accomplished, it’s the only comparison that makes any sense. By the time I’m 95, I’m going to be a bigger hero than he ever was.

“Nelson Mandela did a lot of good work, don’t get me wrong. But I think I’m on track to do something even bigger. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.
“Not to say Mandela wasn’t for real. I have mad respect. I just think we need to keep things in perspective here. Anyone can be replaced. And I think I’m well on my way towards being the next great black leader. I’m already worshiped around the world. And there’s more to come.”

Former South African president and anti-apartheid leader Nelson Mandela died recently after years of declining health. His legacy of peaceful reconciliation has been universally praised by political leaders, the media and ordinary citizens around the world.


Kanye West, for his part, is known for going to extraordinary lengths to focus attention on himself. His reaction today was so unusual, however, that host Adrian Cronauer decided to challenge his assertions.

“What have you actually done for civil rights?” he asked. “Have you been involved in any campaigns? Any political activities? It seems to me comparing yourself to Mandela is a bit of a stretch.”

“I’ve blazed a trail with my career,” West responded. “I faced immeasurable racism when I entered this profession. I mean how many black rappers can you name that came before me? I was a pioneer. And now I’m doing the same thing in the fashion world.

“Not to mention I have a bigger market than he ever did. Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. Worldwide baby.”

“I just want everyone out there to know. I see y’all crying on the TV. Being all sad. Just know that Kanye’s gonna carry on Mandela’s legacy. There’s nothing to worry about. I got this.”

Dear Abby

This is exactly why men should never ask for advice...

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my BMW R1150 GS motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

To All The Kids Who Survived

                      

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms……….WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

Soon To Be Ex-Husband’s GMC Sierra Truck (Hilliard)

My husband wrecked our family van because of his mistress a few months ago.

He sneakily bought a truck with the tax return but our family of 6 won't fit.

Since he decided that he can't stop his affair with that slut who goes around with anyone, I've decided to sell his beloved truck and get us a normal van.

I don't know much about it. He bought it almost 2 weeks ago and he's the second owner.

It's a 2011 GMC Sierra that has no issue. It's a true pleasure to drive it, even though it doesn't have the whisles and bells of our former van.

Just under 41000 miles.

I'm asking a bit under what he paid for it: $16500. Cash.

If anyone is seriously interested, please email me.

NO SCAM please. No, I will not send it to you or accept a money transfer or check via mail.


do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Growing Up Without A Cell Phone

If you are 36, or older, you should find this to be hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. They’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, They live in a virtual Utopia! And I hate to say it, but the kids today, don’t know how good they’ve got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our behinds! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3′s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn’t have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!

7) There weren’t any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!

You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

12) And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!

And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! the kids today have got it too easy. They’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

Regards, The Over 40 Crowd

20 Life Pleasures

These are 20 of life's pleasures that are completely underrated! Number 10 has to be absolutely, without a doubt, the best feeling in the entire world!

Fish Bowls

Fishbowls

5 ounces of vodka
5 ounces of Malibu rum
3 ounces of blue Curacao
6 ounces of sweet-and-sour mix
A handful of gummy Swedish fish

1/2 cup of Nerds candy
3 slices of lime
3 slices of lemon
3 slices of orange
16 ounces of Sprite
16 ounces of pineapple juice.

CAUTION: Make sure not to share your fishbowl with anyone as they have a habit of disappearing fast…lol