Some Days

Some days I'm happy, but other days I need to turn on TLC and watch a lady eat laundry detergent to feel better about myself.

I Don't Remember

No, I don't remember why I'm mad at you, but more importantly neither do you and that pisses me off.

Strike A Pose

I told my daughter to strike a pose to get boys to notice her. I can sleep soundly now, as a father, knowing this is the look she will give potential suitors.

Mr. Smith

"Okay, Mr. Smith. Just stick it in between those two devices." Awww... if only women could rule the world, men would know how we feel... ;-P

Why One Wife Chooses To Shop Alone...

I guess this is one way to convince your wife to leave you at home when she wants to go shopping... ;-P

1 Tequila... 2 Tequilas...

I don't know about you, but this is how my drinking goes... 1 tequila... 2 tequilas... 3 tequilas... FLOOR!

Are You Bored?

Are you bored? Draw eyebrows on your dog and laugh until his next bath.