Saturday, January 24, 2015
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a multi-car pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... well... something happened. I'm trying to break this to you gently, but the fact is, your member was severed in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to reconstruct a new one that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But, the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this.
"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, this is an intimate subject, so it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you in making the decision?"
"She has," says the man.
"And what is it?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting a new kitchen."