Friday, January 30, 2015

Notes On Aging


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide you own Easter eggs.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

The Senility Prayer: Grand me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway.
The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to tell the difference.

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