Aunt Karen

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?" the teacher asked.

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in the war and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down, so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops, all with their guns drawn on her.

She shot fifteen of them with her gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with her knife, until the blade broke, and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" exclaimed his horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"

"To stay the heck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"