Mike

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!?!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well, he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house, he didn't brake properly and BOOM! He hit the curb, the car flipped over, and he went flying through the sunroof, into the air, and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No, no, he survived that... that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and there's broken glass all over the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No, no, that didn't kill him... he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling water, and whoosh, the whole thing came down on him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No, no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, with hot water all around him and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got walloped... 10,000 volts shot straight through him."

"Now, that is one awful way to go!"

"No, no, he survived that..."

"Hold on, now, just how the hell did he die?"

"My wife shot him."

"Your wife shot him? What the hell did she shoot him for?"

"For messing up her clean house!"