Wednesday, February 4, 2015

How To Tell You're In Southern California

As a native Southern Californian, I have to laugh at these truisms...

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings... and none are visible.

You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise facility, and tofu takeout.

You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aromatherapy and conversational Mandarin.

Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.

The three-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe laying on the shoulder.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

You can't remember... is pot illegal?

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

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