Drunken Cookie Monster

This is not only one of the tastiest mixed drinks around, but also the cutest!

Ingredients:

1 oz cake vodka
1 oz vanilla vodka
1 oz white chocolate liqueur

2 cup vanilla ice cream
7 chocolate creme cookies, divided

Colored frosting

Chocolate chips

Directions:

Blend vodkas and liqueur (or syrup), ice cream and 5 of the chocolate creme cookies in a blender until smooth. Pour into two daiquiri glasses. Top with frosting until it reaches the top of the glass. Stick the last two cookies at an angle on the tops of the frosting to make mouths. Add chocolate chips for eyes. Serve.

Cinnamon Roll Cake

This is a taste treat that works every time! Take cinnamon buns to a whole new level!

Ingredients:

Cake:
3 c. flour
1/4 tsp.salt
1 c. sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 c. milk
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. butter, melted

Topping:
1 c. butter, softened
1 c. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. flour
1 Tbsp. cinnamon

Glaze:
2 c. powdered sugar
5 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Mix everything together except for the butter. Slowly stir in the melted butter and pour into a greased 9x13 pan. For the topping, mix all the ingredients together until well combined. Drop evenly over the batter and swirl with a knife. Bake at 350 for 28-32 minutes. While cake is still warm, warm drizzle the glaze over the cake.

Wake Up

A man and his wife had an argument and, afterwards, were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Test of Three

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat a rumor...

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's correct," Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

Peanut Butter Cup Pie

This is absolutely incredible and so very easy to make! Peanut butter cups have never tasted so good!

Ingredients:

1 chocolate cookie pie crust
1 large box of instant chocolate pudding
1 1/2 cups of milk
1 8oz tub of whipped topping
Peanut butter cups

Directions:

1.  In a large bowl, mix the pudding with the milk.

2.  Whisk in the whipped topping.
3.  Unwrap the peanut butter cups (about 15 of the large ones or 25 of the minis) and chop them roughly.
4.  Fold the chopped candy into the pudding mix.
5.  Pour mixture into the chocolate pie crust.
6.  Top with a few more chopped peanut butter cups
7.  Store in freezer till about 15 minutes before serving.

Shark Attack

This is the ideal drink on this hot Labor Day weekend, plus it's so incredible easy to make!

Ingredients:
2 cups ice cubes
1/4 cup lemon slices
1/4 cup pineapple chunks
1/4 cup tequila
1/4 cup Triple Sec
1/2 cup orange juice
1/4 cup pineapple juice
1/4 cup rum
Splash grenadine
1/4 cup maraschino cherries, plus more for garnish

Directions:

In a pitcher, add all the ingredients and stir to combine. Garnish with maraschino cherries, if using. Pour into rocks glasses, garnish with maraschino cherries and serve

No One Available

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light and saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No." Then they said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be there when one is available."

George said, "Okay" He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and hung up.

Within five minutes, six police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was no one available!"

The Heart Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So, Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix them, put in new parts and, when I finish this, it will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it while it's running."

The Rookie

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."

No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good, " replied the veteran, "especially since this is a bus stop."

Black Forest Martini

If you love Black Forest cake, then you will definitely love this! This cocktail takes chocolate and cherry richness to a whole new level!

Ingredients:

1 1/4 oz cherry vodka
3/4 oz chocolate liqueur
1/4 oz black cherry liqueur
2 splashes cream
Whipped cream

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients in a shaker cup with ice.
2. Strain into a cocktail glass.
3. Top with a dollop of whipped cream and a cherry.

Uncle Fred

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"

BLT Dip

This is a quick and easy dip recipe that is perfect for any party or get-together!

Ingredients:

1-1/2 pound bacon, cooked, drained, crumbled, and divided
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 cup cheddar cheese (shredded) or to taste
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or to taste)
1 tablespoons mustard
2 cups chopped seeded tomatoes
1-1/2 cup shredded Iceberg lettuce
pepper an salt to taste

Directions:

1.  reheat oven to 350˚. Spray a 11⁄2-quart baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
2.  Set aside 3/4 cup crumbled bacon.
3.  In a large bowl, combine remaining bacon, cream cheese, shredded cheeses, sour cream, mayonnaise, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and mustard.
4.  Spoon mixture into prepared baking dish and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until bubbly hot.
5.  Sprinkle chopped tomatoes, remaining 3/4 cup crumbled bacon and lettuce over hot dip.
6.  Serve with your choice of toasted bread rounds, crackers, or pita chips.

The Scooby Snack

This is one of my favorite drinks! It's absolutely divine!

Ingredients:

1 oz. Melon Liqueur
1 oz. Coconut Rum
1/2 oz. Pineapple Juice
1 1/2 oz. Whipped Cream

Directions:

Pour all ingredient into a stainless steel shaker over ice. Shake until well mixed and sufficiently chilled. Strain into a shot glass.

We Deliver

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said, "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year, and you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You've listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention that we deliver anywhere..."

Buffalo Chicken Cups

These are perfect as an appetizer or part of a meal, and are so incredibly easy to make!

Ingredients:

1 8-ounce package cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup Ranch dressing
1/2 cup Buffalo wing sauce
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 1/2 cups cooked and shredded chicken
24 wonton wrappers
1/4 cup blue cheese crumbles (optional)

Directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray brownie pan very lightly with cooking spray.
2.  In a medium bowl, combine softened cream cheese, Ranch dressing, wing sauce and 3/4 Cup cheddar cheese (save remaining 1/4 cup for topping). You can soften the mixture slightly in the microwave if needed to make it come together.

3.  Stir in shredded chicken.

4.  Start layering your cups. Begin with a wonton wrapper and press it into the bottom of each muffin tin.

5.  Spoon about a tablespoon of the chicken mixture.

6.  Top with another wonton wrapper and add another tablespoon of chicken mixture.

7.  Sprinkle with remaining cheddar cheese and a little blue cheese, if desired.
8.  Bake for 18 minutes or until edges are brown. Check cups after 10 minutes into cooking and if edges are browned cover the cupcakes with foil for the remaining cooking time.

9.  Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes. Use a knife if needed to loosen the edges then pop each cup out.

Joe's Headache

The Doctor said to Joe, "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates an incredible headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was headache free for the first time in over 20 years, but he felt as if he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street he realized he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit."

The elderly salesman eyed him quickly and said, "Let's see, you're a size 44 long."

Joe laughed and said, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

"Let's see, 16 and a half neck, 34 sleeve."

Joe was surprised. "How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years." The shirt fit perfectly.

As Joe looked at himself in the mirror, the salesman said, "You could use new shoes."

Since Joe was on a roll, he said, "Sure."

The man eyed Joe's feet and said, "9-1/2E."

Joe was astonished. "That's right. How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shoes and they also fit perfectly.

As Joe walked comfortably around the shop, the salesman asked, "How about new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Why not."

The man stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36."

Joe laughed. "Finally I've got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old."

The tailor shook his head. "You can't wear a size 32. Size 32 underwear would press your testicles against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Got Any Grapes?

A duck walks into a bar. He hops up on a stool and asks a bartender "got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No, this is a bar. We don't have grapes here." The duck leaves.

The next day he comes in to the same bar, hops up on the same stool and says "Got any grapes? The bartender angrily replies "NO! we don't have any grapes. I told you yesterday that this is a bar, now if you ask me one more time, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!" The duck leaves.

The next day the duck returns and hops up on the same stool. The duck asks "Got any nails?" The bartender, puzzled says "No, why?" The duck replies "Got any grapes?"

Breakfast Potato Bowls

This is an incredibly easy to make breakfast that everyone will love!

Ingredients:

1 large baked potato (russett or sweet)
1 Tbsp. butter
2 eggs
2 strips bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 Tbsp. shredded cheddar or gouda cheese
1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

1.  With a spoon, hollow out the middle of the potato to make a “bowl”, leaving the potato as thick or thin as you’d like. (Just remember, the more room you leave, the more room for eggs, bacon and cheese!)

2.  Place 1/2 tablespoon of butter in the middle of each bowl. Then gently break an egg into each bowl, careful not to break the yolk. Top with bacon, cheese, parsley, and then season with salt and pepper.

3.  Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes, or until the egg whites are set. Serve immediately.

Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, a long list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their quarter century of marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist stood up, walked around his desk and, asking the wife to stand, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.

The woman shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down;. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on the other days I play golf."

Under The Table

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

The Honeymoon's Over

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "So, how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful four-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed... they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset! Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook...."

The Porsche

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get that car?!?!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

His parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy." I don't know her name... they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh, no!," moaned the mother, "She must be a child abuser! Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So, the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn't intend to come back. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream Pie

This is the tastiest ice cream pie ever!

Ingredients:

1/4 cup butter, softened
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips
1 6-ounce Oreo pie crust
3 cups mint chocolate chip ice cream, softened
1/2 cup hot fudge ice cream topping, warmed

Directions:

1.  To prepare the cookie dough; mix butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar in a large bowl until creamy; add milk and vanilla and mix until well blended. Gradually mix in flour and salt; stir in mini chocolate chips.

2.  Spread edible chocolate chip cookie dough evenly in the bottom of the Oreo crust. Top the cookie dough with spoonfuls of ice cream. Lightly press and smooth top with the back of the spoon. Freeze pie two hours or until firm.

3.  To serve, set pie out at room temperature for ten minutes to soften and cut into 8 wedges. Garnish each piece with warmed hot fudge ice cream topping. Makes 8 servings.

Suspicious Couple In A Car

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.

He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."

"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.

"I'm nineteen," he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."

Crock Pot Potato Soup

Before I retired, this one one of my family's favorites! Little fuss for the working parent and comes out great every time!

Ingredients:

1 30-ounce bag frozen hash-brown potatoes
2 14-oz cans chicken broth
1 10.75-ounce can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/3 tsp ground black pepper
1 8-ounce package cream cheese (softened)
Garnish: minced green onion and shredded cheese

Directions:

1.  In a slow cooker, combine potatoes, broth, soup, onion, and pepper.

2.  Cover, and cook on low for 5 hours.

3.  Stir in cream cheese and cook 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until combined.

4.  Garnish with green onion and shredded cheese.

Not Yo Mama’s Banana Pudding

This is my favorite Paula Deen recipe! Once you've tasted it, any other banana pudding will seem so blah!

Ingredients:

1 12-ounce container frozen whipped topping thawed, or equal amount sweetened whipped cream
1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
2 cups milk
1 5-ounce box instant French vanilla pudding
6-8 bananas, sliced
2 bags Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies

Directions:

Line the bottom of a 13x9x2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top.
In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

* Recipe courtesy of Paula Deen

Snickerdoodle Muffins

I personally love "snickerdoodle" anything, but these really take the cake!

Ingredients:

2 sticks unsalted butter
1 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 1/4 cup sour cream
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar and 1 tbsp cinnamon mixed together for rolling*

1.  Cream the butter and sugar until soft about 3 to 5 minutes. Add in the vanilla. Add in the eggs one at a time and mix until each is incorporated.

2.  In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cream of tartar and nutmeg.

3.  Add the flour mixture and the sour cream alternately to the egg-butter mixture in the additions. Start with the flour and end with the flour. Scrape the bowl occasionally.

4.  Using an ice cream scoop, scoop out muffin batter one at a time and drop into a shallow bowl filled with the cinnamon sugar mixture. Roll the muffin around in the mixture until it is covered completely in cinnamon sugar. Place muffin into muffin tin. Depending on the size of your tins, you should get about 12 to 14 muffins. Bake them for approx. 20-22 minutes in a 350F oven or until they are golden brown.

Funnel Cake

A classic fair favorite! They only seem difficult to make, but they are incredibly easy and, oh, so very yummy!

Ingredients:

1 egg, beaten
2/3 cup milk
1 tsp baking powder
1 ¼ cup all purpose flour or coconut flour to make gluten free
2 Tbsp sugar
¼ tsp salt
Oil for frying, enough to cover the bottom of the skillet
Powdered sugar for topping

Directions:

1.  Mix egg and milk. Sift dry ingredients and gradually add to milk mixture, beat until smooth.
2.  Preheat oil in fry pan to 375 degrees F.
3.  Pour batter into hot oil with a funnel with a ½ “ or ¾” hole. Let batter drizzle into hot oil. Spiraling to create a circle.
4.  Cook about 1 minute, flip over, cooking both sides. Remove and drain on paper towels.
5.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar and top with fruit preserves, as desired, while still warm.

Hot Apple Dumplings

Nothing tastes better than hot homemade apple dumplings! This recipe comes out perfect every time!

Ingredients:

2 Granny Smith apples
1 cup water
1 cup sugar divided
1 stick butter
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
8 canned biscuits (I use Pillsbury buttermilk)
4 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Peel, core and slice apples vertically into 8 slices each. Cover with cold water to keep them from getting brown while you prepare the rest of the recipe.

2.  In a medium saucepan, mix the water, 3/4 cup of the sugar, butter and vanilla over heat and bring mixture to a boil.

3.  Separate each biscuit in half. Wrap biscuit dough layer around a slice of apple, stretching it to slightly overlap and seal the bottom.

4.  Place the wrapped slices sealed side down in a 9 X 13 baking pan. Pour the hot sugar mixture over the apple slices.

5.  Mix the remaining 1/4 cup sugar with cinnamon and sprinkle over the tops of the wrapped apples. Bake for 35 minutes or until golden brown. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream!

Garlic Lemon Pepper Chicken

This is a family favorite and perfect for the cook on the go!

Ingredients:

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (plus an additional 2 tablespoons, if you are roasting the chicken)
2 lemons, divided
3-4 cloves garlic, finely grated
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Salt
1 chicken, skin removed and cut into 8 pieces

Directions:

1.  Pre-heat the oven to 450°F or a grill or grill pan over medium-high heat.

2.  In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the olive oil, garlic, the zest and juice of one lemon, and black pepper. Season the chicken well with salt and toss it into the bowl. Marinate the chicken for 15 minutes.

3.  If roasting the chicken, place a large, cast iron skillet over medium-high heat with two turns of the pan of olive oil (about 2 tablespoons). Sear the chicken, meat side-down, until golden brown, about 5 minutes, then turn it over and transfer the pan to the oven. Roast until cooked through, about 15 minutes.

4.  If grilling, grill the chicken until marked and cooked through, 8-10 minutes per side.

5.  Squeeze the juice of the remaining lemon over the cooked chicken.

Mojito Limeade

This is the best summertime drink ever! A perfect choice for the Labor Day festivities!

Ingredients:

1/2 cup fresh mint leaves, plus sprigs for garnish
2 limes, cut into wedges, plus more for garnish
2 cups crushed ice, plus more for serving
1 cup Lime-Mint Syrup, recipe follows
1 liter white rum
1/2 cup fresh lime juice
Club soda

Lime-Mint Syrup:
2 cups sugar
2 cups water
2 limes, zested
1/2 cup fresh mint leaves

Directions:

Combine the mint leaves and lime wedges with 2 cups crushed ice in the bottom of a large pitcher. Add Lime-Mint Syrup, rum, lime juice, and more ice. Top off with club soda, to taste. Pour into glasses over ice and serve. Garnish each glass with a lime wedge and mint sprigs, as desired.

Lime-Mint Syrup:
Bring the sugar and water to a boil in a medium saucepan and cook until the sugar is completely dissolved, about 1 minute. Remove from the heat, stir in the lime zest and mint, and let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes to infuse the syrup with the flavor of lime and mint. Strain out the mint and zest and refrigerate the syrup, covered, until cold.

The Music

When you're happy, you enjoy the music. But when you're sad, you understand the lyrics... ~ Frank Ocean

Great Balls of Pizza!

These make a wonderful snack or hors d'oeuvres and are so very easy to make!

Ingredients:

3 cans dinner biscuits (10 per can)
60 pepperoni slices
1 Bag shredded cheese
1 Egg
Parmesan cheese
Italian seasoning
Garlic powder
1 jar pizza sauce

Directions:

1.  Cut the block of cheese into 30 cubes.
2.  Flatten a biscuit out and layer pepperoni, cheese, and pepperoni.
3.  Gather up the edges of the biscuit to form balls.
4.  Line up the balls in a greased (9x13 in. or larger) pan, pinched edge down.
5.  Brush with beaten egg.
6.  Sprinkle with Parmesan Cheese, Italian seasoning and Garlic Powder.
7.  Bake at 425°F for 18-20 minutes.

Serve with Pizza Sauce for dipping.

Fried Macaroni and Cheese Bites

When I was young, my favorite food in the world was macaroni and cheese and when I grew up, I thought what better way to relive childhood memories than to take my old favorite and deep fry it? Trust me, these are easy to make and absolutely delicious!

Ingredients:

2 tablespoon unsalted butter

2 tablespoon flour
3/4 cup half and half
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 packed cup leftover mac & cheese

1/2 cup flour
1 beaten egg
1 cup bread crumbs

Directions:

1.  Melt the butter in a small saucepan. Add the flour and stir vigorously until the mixture is bubbling. Remove the pan from the heat, then slowly whisk in the half and half until it is fully incorporated and there are no lumps. Return the pan to a medium-low heat stove and use a silicone spatula to continuously scrape the bottom of the pan to keep the sauce from burning. When the sauce is thick and bubbly, remove the pan from the heat and add the mac & cheese. Stir to combine, then taste for salt and adjust as needed. Cool to room temperature, then place the mixture into the fridge to harden.

2.  Once the macaroni mixture has cooled, it will be very firm. Use a spoon to scoop out a 1 1/2″ ball, then roll it between your hands to make it round, pressing down a bit to remove any air pockets. You should be able to make about 8 balls.

3.  Add about 2 inches of oil into a heavy bottomed pot. Turn the heat onto medium high, and watch for the temperature to reach about 320 degrees F. In the mean time, get 3 shallow bowls out, and put the flour in one, the egg in another and the bread crumbs in the third. Roll each ball in the flour to coat evenly, then in the egg (make sure it’s well coated with egg or the bread crumbs won’t stick). Lastly, drop the balls in the bread crumbs and roll around to coat evenly.

4.  Line a wire rack with paper towels to place the balls on once they’re fried. Fry each ball, rolling them around so they brown evenly until they are golden brown and crisp. Transfer the fried mac and cheese bals to a paper towel lined rack and let them drain. Let them cool for a minute before serving, then top with plenty of grated cheese.

Thin Mint Cookies

Ingredients:

2 sticks (1 cup) butter
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup dutch processed cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/4 cup flour
12 ounce bittersweet chocolate chips
2 tbsp coconut oil
3/4 tsp peppermint extract

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Using mixer, beat together the butter and powdered sugar until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides as needed.
3. Add cocoa powder, salt, and vanilla and beat until smooth and creamy.
4. Add flour in three batches, scraping down the sides in between each addition. Mix until combined.
5. Transfer the dough onto a piece of parchment paper (it may be a bit crumbly) and kneed a few times to bring completely together. Once dough is fully hydrated, top with another piece of parchment paper and roll out until 1/4 inch thick.
6. Using a 2” cookie cutter or a similar sized glass cut out cookies, sparing as little dough as possible. Place cookie rounds on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Kneed excess dough together and roll out once more, working to cut out as many cookies as possible. *Rolling the dough out more than twice will compromise the texture of the cookie.
7. Set cookie sheets in freezer for 20 minutes. Remove chilled cookies and bake for 8-10 minutes.
8. Melt the chocolate chips and coconut oil over double boiler. Remove from heat and stir together until smooth. Add peppermint extract.
9. With a fork, dip each cookie in the melted chocolate so that it is entirely submerged. Remove from chocolate allowing excess chocolate to drip off, and place on a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.
10. Repeat until all the cookies have been dipped in chocolate. For best results leave at room temperature until chocolate sets up. You can also place in the refrigerator to allow chocolate to harden more quickly.

Pizza Puffs

Ingredients:

1-1/4 cups water
1/3 cup shortening
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 eggs
3/4 cup finely chopped pepperoni (3 oz.)
3/4 cup finely shredded Romano or Parmesan cheese (3 oz.)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 jar pizza sauce

Directions:

Grease 2 large baking sheets and set aside. In a large saucepan combine water and shortening. Bring to a boil. Add flour all at once, stirring vigorously. Cook and stir until mixture forms a ball. Remove from heat. Cool for 10 minutes. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in pepperoni, cheese, parsley, garlic powder, and pepper.

Drop dough by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto prepared baking sheets. Bake at 450°F for 15 to 17 minutes or until golden brown.

Serve with pizza sauce for dipping.

Fudge Supreme Brownies

These are the most decadently divine fudge brownies you will ever taste!

Ingredients:

3 1/2 ounces unsweetened chocolate
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 large eggs, at room temperature
3/4 cup all-purpose flour, plus
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chopped walnuts, plus
2 tablespoons chopped walnuts
Frosting
1 1/2 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup evaporated milk
1/3 cup sugar

Directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 350F; Lightly grease and 8-inch square pan with butter or vegetable oil.
2.  Melt the 3 1/2 ounces of chocolate and butter in the top of a double boiler placed over simmering water; 3.  Cool the mixture for 5 minutes
4.  Place sugar in a medium-sized mixing bowl and pour in the chocolate mixture; Using an electric mixer on medium speed, mix until blended, about 25 seconds; Scrape the bowl with a rubber spatula.
5.  Add the vanilla, and with the mixer on medium-low speed, add the eggs one at a time, blending after each addition until the yolk is broken and dispersed, about 10 seconds. Scrape the bowl after the last egg and blend until velvety, about 15 more seconds.
6.  Add the flour on low speed and mix for 20 seconds and finish the mixing by hand, being certain to mix in any flour at the bottom of the bowl. Stir in 1/2 cup of the nuts.
7.  Spread the batter evenly in the prepared pan and sprinkle the remaining nuts over the top.
8.  Bake the brownies on the center oven rack until a thin crust forms on top and a tester inserted in the center comes out with a moist crumb, 25 to 30 minutes.
9.  Remove the pan from the oven and place it on a rack to cool for 1 hour before cutting the brownies.
10. Serve the following day (it takes a day for the flavor to set) and don't forget to add tall glass of milk!

Jimmy Page

"I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I am doing." ~ Jimmy Page

I love this quote by a man who usually says so little. His simple words, in and by themselves, speak volumes...

Peanut Butter Brownie Bars

These are one of my personal favorites. Easy to make and yummy, too!

Ingredients:

Brownie layer:
¾ cup butter
6 oz dark chocolate, chopped
1½ cups sugar
½ cup brown sugar, packed
1½ tsp vanilla
3 large eggs
1 cup all-purpose flour
¾ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Peanut butter cheesecake layer:
8 oz block bream cheese, softened
¼ cup butter, softened
1 egg
½ cup sugar
½ tsp salt
½ tsp vanilla extract
1 cup creamy peanut butter

Directions:

1.  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

2.  Line a 9×13 inch pan with aluminum foil for easy removal of the bars. Spray with cooking spray and set aside.
3.  In a microwave safe bowl or using a double broiler, melt the ¾ cup of butter and chopped dark chocolate. Stirring ever 30 seconds being careful not to let the chocolate burn.
4.  Whisk sugar and brown sugar to the melted chocolate mixture. Then add the vanilla and eggs until it it is fully incorporated. Lastly, stir the flour until incorporated.
5.  Pour this mixture into your prepared 9×13 inch pan. Sprinkle with ¾ cups chocolate chips and set aside.
6.  To make the cheesecake layer, in a stand mixer using the paddle attachment, cream together the cream cheese and softened butter about 2 minutes until fluffy. Mix in the egg, sugar, salt, and vanilla on high for another 2 minutes. Mix in the peanut butter for 2 minutes.
7.  Pour the cream cheese layer over the brownie layer and spread it out so that it is smooth on the top and completely covers the brownie layer. Bake for 35-40 minutes. The top and edges should be slightly golden and the center is set.
8.  Let the bars completely cool and refrigerate for at least an hour or overnight before serving.

Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

These are so easy to make and so incredibly yummy that everyone will love them!

Ingredients:

6 tablespoons butter, softened
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 9 ounce box of chocolate wafers

Directions:

1.  In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter until smooth. Add confectioners' sugar; beat until light and fluffy. Divide mixture among small bowls, using one for each flavor. Stir in desired flavorings to taste, thinning with milk if needed.

2.  Spread half a box of chocolate wafers with a small amount of filling; top with remaining cookies. Press gently to spread filling to the edges.

Music Is

Music is exactly what feelings sound like! It helps us give a voice to how we feel...

The Gas Station

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.

She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around.

Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

Watermelon-Lemonade Spritzer

Ingredients (yields 5 servings.):

4 cups cubed seedless watermelon
3/4 cup frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed
2-1/2 cups carbonated water
Lemon slices

Directions:

1. Place watermelon in a blender.
2. Cover and process until blended.
3. Strain and discard pulp and transfer juice to a pitcher.
4. Stir in limeade concentrate.
5. Refrigerate for 6 hours or overnight.
6. Just before serving, stir in carbonated water.
7. Garnish servings with lemon slices.

Song Lyrics

If you can't handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said, we can't be friends.

Electric Blue Lemonade

For a cool refreshing drink, with a bright splash of color, try this!

Ingredients:

1 oz vodka
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 oz lemon-lime soda

Directions:

Mix with ice and shake. Glow cubes are an optional, but fun touch to add!

Bacon Cheddar Puffs

These are the easiest and tastiest biscuits I've ever made!

Ingredients:

1/2 c. milk
2 tbsp. butter, cut in sm. pieces
1/2 c. flour
2 eggs
1/2 c. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
4 slices bacon, cooked & crumbled
1/4 c. green onion, chopped
1/4 tsp. garlic salt
1/4 tsp. pepper

Directions:

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Boil milk and butter over medium heat. Add flour all at once, stirring until mixture forms a ball. Remove from heat. Add eggs, stirring until smooth. Add remaining ingredients. Drop by teaspoon on greased foil-lined cookie sheets. Bake 25 minutes or until puffed and golden. Wrap and freeze. To serve, bake 5 to 8 minutes or until heated. Makes 3 dozen.

Dear Music

Dear music, I will never be able to thank you for always being there for me.

Pink Bikini

Ingredients:

1 bottle raspberry lemonade
1 3/4 cups coconut rum
1 cup amaretto liqueur

Directions:

Combine raspberry lemonade, coconut rum, and amaretto liqueur in a large pitcher. Stir well and let chill. Serve with a straw in a coconut shell.

Cheddar Bay Biscuits

Ingredients: (makes one dozen biscuits)

2 1/2 cups Bisquick baking mix
4 tbsp cold butter
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
3/4 cup cold whole milk
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Topping:
2 tblsp butter, melted
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp dried parsley flakes
1 pinch salt

Directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 400°F.
2.  Combine Bisquick with cold butter in a medium bowl using a pastry cutter or a large fork. Don't mix too thoroughly. There should be small chunks of butter in there that are about the size of peas. Add cheddar cheese, milk, and 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder. Mix by hand until combined, but don't over mix.
3.  Drop approximately 1/4-cup portions of the dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet using an ice cream scoop. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes or until the tops of the biscuits begin to turn light brown.
4.  When you take the biscuits out of the oven, melt 2 tablespoons butter in a small bowl in your microwave. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder and the dried parsley flakes. Use a brush to spread this garlic butter over the tops of all the biscuits. Use up all of the butter.

Big Stick Margarita

Ingredients:

1/2 oz sloe gin
1/2 oz peach liqueur
1/2 oz peach schnapps

Directions:

Build over ice in an 11 oz. glass. Looks and tastes like a big stick popsicle.