Wednesday, December 24, 2014

My Favorite Christmas Jokes

Merry Christmas, everyone! Here are a few of my favorite corny Christmas jokes...

* Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: a wrapper!

* For Christmas I want Santa’s list of naughty boys.

* Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

* There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

* Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

* Last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas... I woke up in a box.

* Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic.

* The awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents.

* Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem.

* A song told me to Deck the I did. Mr.and Mrs. Hall are not very happy right now.

* Q: Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up? A: It doesn’t have legs.

* Dear Santa, I was framed.

* Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate clauses

* This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinion.

* The 4 stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus 3. You dress up as Santa Claus 4. You look like Santa Claus.

* I try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the Holidays, because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.

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